Catholic Funeral Readings for a Husband

No readings are set aside for a husband's funeral. The Church approves 56 reading options for a funeral Mass, and you may choose any of them. This guide is written for a wife choosing readings for her husband, though grown children planning the funeral with their mother can use it too. The readings below are the ones that speak most directly to a long marriage and to being the one who is left.

If you need a combination today: Isaiah 25:6a, 7-9, Psalm 23, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, and John 11:17-27. It is hopeful without rushing past grief, and the two readings a family member would proclaim are a manageable length.

First Reading

Outside Easter Time, the First Reading comes from the Old Testament. During Easter Time (the fifty days from Easter Sunday to Pentecost) it comes from Acts or Revelation instead. One Easter option is included below.

Isaiah 25:6a, 7-9: "He has swallowed up death forever!"

A feast on a mountain, a veil lifted from every people, and God who "will wipe away tears from off all faces." It ends with words a couple who prayed together for years will recognize: "We have waited for him, and he will save us!" The voice is plural: a whole people, or a whole household, saying it together.

Lamentations 3:17-26: "Great is your faithfulness"

This one begins in the dark: "You have removed my soul far away from peace," and "My strength has perished." Only then does it turn. God's compassion does not fail, and "They are new every morning." For many widows the morning is the hardest part of the day, the moment of waking and remembering. The reading does not skip over that. And the faithfulness it praises is God's, which is worth hearing when the person who was faithful to you is gone.

Job 19:1, 23-27a: "I know that my Redeemer lives"

If his last months were a long illness, consider Job. He speaks from the middle of his suffering, not after it: "After my skin is destroyed, then in my flesh shall I see God." Wives who cared for a husband through a hard decline often find that this line says what they hoped for him.

In Easter Time: Revelation 14:13, "that they may rest from their labors"

Two sentences. A voice from heaven says "Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord," and the Spirit answers, "that they may rest from their labors; for their works follow with them." For a man who worked hard all his life for his family, it is hard to do better. It is also one of the shortest funeral readings, which helps if one of your children is reading. It can be used only during Easter Time.

Responsorial Psalm

The psalm is usually sung by a cantor, with everyone joining in the response. Some parishes have a reader recite it instead; ask yours.

• Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd." It ends, "Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life." Everyone in the church will know it, including his friends who never come to Mass.
• Psalm 63: "when I remember you on my bed, and think about you in the night watches." The psalm is addressed to God, but it describes the hours a widow knows best. Then it says, "My soul stays close to you. Your right hand holds me up."
• Psalm 116: the death of God's faithful ones is precious in his sight. Short, and a good choice if you want to say that his death was not a small thing in God's eyes.

Second Reading

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18: "So we will be with the Lord forever"

Paul writes to people mourning their dead so that "you don't grieve like the rest, who have no hope." He does not tell them to stop grieving. He also calls the living "we who are alive, who are left." If being left is the part you cannot get past, this reading names it, and then promises that the living and the dead will be "caught up together." It closes with "Therefore comfort one another with these words," which is close to a description of what a funeral is for.

Romans 14:7-9, 10c-12: "If therefore we live or die, we are the Lord's"

It opens, "For none of us lives to himself, and none dies to himself." Anyone who has been married a long time knows it is true. Be aware that the last verses turn to judgment ("each one of us will give account of himself to God"), so read the whole passage before you choose it.

2 Timothy 2:8-13: "he remains faithful"

For a marriage that came through hard years. The reading ends with an early Christian saying: "For if we died with him, we will also live with him. If we endure, we will also reign with him." One line is stern, "If we deny him, he also will deny us," and the next answers it: "If we are faithless, he remains faithful; for he can't deny himself." You promised each other fidelity, and this reading says God keeps faith even when we fail to.

Gospel

A priest or deacon proclaims the Gospel, so you choose it but do not need to find a reader for it.

• John 11:17-27: Martha tells Jesus, "Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn't have died." He does not explain himself. He says, "I am the resurrection and the life," and asks her, "Do you believe this?" She says yes. This is the Gospel for a widow who is angry and believing at the same time.
• Luke 24:13-35: Two disciples walk home grieving, and a stranger walks with them. They ask him, "Stay with us, for it is almost evening, and the day is almost over," and they recognize him when he breaks the bread. For a couple who walked a long road together, and for a wife whose evenings are now very quiet, there is a great deal here. It is long; a shorter form (Luke 24:13-16, 28-35) is approved.
• John 6:51-58: "He who eats this bread will live forever." For a husband whose faith showed most at Mass, whether he never missed a Sunday or brought Communion to the sick. More readings like it are gathered under the Eucharistic promise.

How to actually choose

Many widows want to hear a reading from their wedding again. Most wedding readings, including the Song of Songs and 1 Corinthians 13, are not on the funeral list. Two are on both: Romans 8:31b-35, 37-39 ("What will separate us from the love of Christ?") and the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:1-12a. If you had either one at your wedding, you can use it again. For anything else, ask your priest.

You do not have to read. Many widows would rather not, and no one will expect it. A son or daughter, his brother, or an old friend can take the First and Second Readings. If you do want to read, choose a short passage and practice it aloud at least twice.

If he had a favorite poem, a song lyric, or a line he always said, it probably belongs in the words of remembrance, at the vigil, or printed in the program, rather than in place of a Scripture reading. Your parish can tell you what they allow.

Leave room for your children. They knew him as a father, and they may have a reading of their own in mind. The readings for a father guide covers the choices from their side.

Putting it in the program

You can read the full text of all 56 funeral readings before deciding, or browse them by theme, such as comfort and consolation. When you are ready, you can build a printable funeral program with your readings already laid out. For the prayers that follow the readings, see funeral prayers of the faithful. If you would like to name a patron, St. Joseph is the patron of husbands and of a happy death.