Catholic Funeral Readings for a Child or Baby

If you are reading this because your child has died, we are very sorry. Nothing here has to be decided quickly, and nothing has to be decided alone. Your parish priest or bereavement minister has walked other families through this, and they will help you. This page is only meant to make the readings less of a puzzle, so the time you have can go to your child and to each other.

If you only have a few minutes, this is a gentle, well-tested combination: Isaiah 25:6a, 7-9, Psalm 23, 1 John 3:1-2, and Matthew 11:25-30. All four are short, and none of them asks the people listening to feel anything they do not feel.

What the Church provides for a child's funeral

The Order of Christian Funerals, the book your parish uses, has a whole section on funerals for children. It gives prayers written for the death of a child, and it gives its own set of Scripture readings, with provision both for a baptized child and for a child who died before baptism whose parents had intended to have the child baptized. Some of those readings also appear on the general funeral list. Others appear only in the children's section. One example is the Gospel where Jesus welcomes the little children and says not to keep them from him.

The readings on this site come from the general funeral list. They are all permitted at a child's funeral, and several of them fit it very well. But our site does not reproduce the children's section. Your parish has it and will gladly show it to you. If a reading you have in mind is not here, ask for it.

There is also a page of readings gathered for the death of someone young, which is a good place to start.

First Reading

Isaiah 25:6a, 7-9: "He will destroy death forever"

A feast on the mountain, a veil lifted from every face, and a promise that God will wipe away the tears from all faces. It makes no attempt to explain why this happened. It simply says what God will do about tears, and on the day of the funeral that is the part people can hear.

Lamentations 3:17-26: hope that waits in silence

This reading begins in real desolation. The speaker says peace has been taken away and strength is gone. Only after that does it turn to the mercies that are new every morning and the goodness of waiting quietly for the Lord. If the comforting readings feel too soon, this one may feel more honest, because it takes its time getting to hope.

Wisdom 4:7-15: "A blameless life is a ripe old age"

The passage most often chosen when someone dies young. It says a life is not measured by the number of its years. Some families find great comfort in it. Read the whole text before you choose it, though. Parts of it speak about being taken away from wickedness, and for a baby or a small child that language can sound strange. It tends to suit an older child or a teenager better.

Responsorial Psalm

• Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd." A shepherd carrying the one who cannot walk far is an image even young children in the congregation will understand. Many siblings and cousins already know it.
• Psalm 42: "My tears have been my food day and night." A psalm for parents who cannot yet say anything else. It keeps asking the soul why it is so cast down, and it keeps answering with hope, without pretending the first question has gone away.
• Psalm 25: "To you, O Lord, I lift my soul." A prayer to be remembered by God, and a plea for relief from the troubles of the heart. It also asks God not to remember the sins of youth, which some parents of a baby find an odd fit, so read it first.

Second Reading

1 John 3:1-2: "We shall see him as he is"

Two verses about how much the Father loves us, that we are called children of God, and that what we will be has not yet been shown. It is among the shortest readings available, which matters when the reader is a grieving relative.

Romans 6:3-9: "We shall also live with him"

Paul on baptism: those who were baptized into Christ's death will share his resurrection. For a baptized child this reading links the funeral to the day of baptism. Many parents still remember that day clearly. There is a shorter form as well.

Revelation 21:1-5a, 6b-7: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes"

A new heaven and a new earth, God living among his people, and no more death or mourning or pain. It is visual and simple, and children at the funeral can follow it.

Romans 8:31b-35, 37-39: "What will separate us from the love of Christ?"

If you want one reading that makes a claim and does not back down, this is it. Paul names death in his list and says it cannot separate your child, or anyone, from the love of God.

Gospel

• Matthew 11:25-30: Jesus thanks the Father for revealing himself to little ones, then says, "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." It speaks to the child and to the parents at once.
• John 6:37-40: It is the Father's will that Jesus should lose nothing of all that he has been given. A short Gospel, and a very direct promise.
• John 11:32-45: Mary tells Jesus that if he had been there, her brother would not have died, and Jesus weeps. Parents who are angry, or who are asking why, will find their question in the mouth of someone Jesus loved, and he does not rebuke her.
• John 19:17-18, 25-39: Mary stands at the cross and watches her son die. For a mother especially, this can be the Gospel that says "you are not the first, and you are not alone."
• Luke 7:11-17: Jesus meets a funeral procession, sees a mother whose only son has died, and gives the boy back to her. It is often chosen for a young person's funeral. Be honest with yourselves about it. Some parents find it a promise of what God will do. Others find it too painful, because their child was not given back today. Either reaction is all right.

A baby who died before birth or before baptism

Parents who lose a baby to miscarriage or stillbirth, or shortly after birth, are sometimes told there is nothing the Church can do. That is not true. The Catechism says the Church entrusts children who die without baptism to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them, and that we may hope there is a way of salvation for them (CCC 1261). Church law allows funeral rites for a child whose parents intended baptism. The Order of Christian Funerals also has a short rite of final commendation for an infant, which can be prayed at the hospital or the graveside.

Practice varies from diocese to diocese and from parish to parish, so please ask. Call the parish, say what happened, and ask what they can offer. Most priests will want to help, whether the loss came early or late, and whether or not you have told anyone yet.

Who reads

Parents do not have to read, and most do not. It is a kindness to let a godparent, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, or a close family friend proclaim the readings for you. If a parent does want to read, that is welcome too. Choose something short and have someone ready to step in.

Brothers and sisters can be part of it in ways that suit their age. An older sibling might read the psalm or one of the prayers of the faithful. Younger ones can carry the gifts to the altar. Ask the parish what is possible. Most are glad to make room for children.

How to actually choose

Choose fewer words. At a child's funeral, short readings are usually better for everyone, including the person reading them.

Pick what is true for you right now. If hope is all you can hear, choose hope. If lament is closer, Lamentations, Psalm 42 and John 11 will hold it. The Church gives you both, and you do not have to sound more at peace than you are.

You do not need to make the readings describe your child. The homily and any words of remembrance can do that. The readings are what the Church says about death and about God, offered for your child.

If you are stuck, ask the priest to choose. That is a perfectly good answer, and many families give it.

When you are ready

You can read the full text of the 56 general funeral readings here, and when you are ready you can put together a printed funeral program with the readings laid out. Some families also want a prayer card to give to the people who came. For an outline of the day itself, see what to expect at a Catholic funeral, and for help with the other parts, how to plan a Catholic funeral.