Catholic Funeral Readings for a Wife

The Church does not set aside any readings for a wife's funeral. There are 56 approved reading options for a funeral Mass, and every one of them is open to you. This guide is written for a husband choosing readings for his wife. Plenty of men tell their parish they have never planned anything like this before. That is normal. Nobody expects you to know the readings already, and the priest or the parish funeral coordinator will help.

If you want a combination you can settle on today: Wisdom 3:1-9, Psalm 23, Revelation 21:1-5a, 6b-7 as the Second Reading, and the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:1-12a.

First Reading

Outside Easter Time, the First Reading comes from the Old Testament. During Easter Time (the fifty days from Easter Sunday to Pentecost) it comes from Acts or Revelation instead.

Wisdom 3:1-9: "But they are in peace"

The most familiar First Reading at Catholic funerals. It admits how death looks from where we stand ("their journeying away from us to be their ruin") and then answers, "But they are in peace." Near the end comes a line that suits a long marriage: "the faithful will abide with him in love." A shorter form (Wisdom 3:1-6, 9) is approved if your reader wants something briefer.

Daniel 12:1-3: "they will shine as the stars"

Short, and it ends: "Those who turn many to righteousness will shine as the stars forever and ever." For a wife who taught the children their prayers, served as a catechist, or was the reason the family got to Mass on Sunday. Be aware that the middle verse speaks of some waking "to shame and everlasting contempt." Most readers get through it fine, but know it is there.

2 Maccabees 12:43-46: praying for the dead

"It is therefore a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead." This is the passage behind the Catholic custom of praying for those who have died. Your vows said "until death." Praying for her is something you can keep doing after it, and some husbands find that this reading gives them a way to keep being faithful. The opening verse is full of numbers and silver drachmas, so give it to a reader who has had a chance to practice.

In Easter Time: Revelation 21:1-5a, 6b-7

During Easter Time this reading can be the First Reading. At any time of year it can be the Second Reading instead (see below). Use it in one place, not both.

Responsorial Psalm

A cantor usually sings the psalm and everyone joins in the response. Ask your parish if you would rather have it read.

• Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd." The one psalm almost everyone knows, and it never sounds wrong.
• Psalm 42 and 43: "My tears have been my food day and night." Then a memory: "how I used to go with the crowd, and led them to God's house." For a husband who sat beside his wife at Mass for decades and now has to walk in alone. It answers its own grief with "Hope in God!" and repeats it.
• Psalm 122: "I was glad when they said to me," and then the invitation to go up to the house of the Lord. If she was the one who said "let's go" every Sunday morning, this is her psalm. It is joyful, which suits a long and happy marriage.

Second Reading

Revelation 21:1-5a, 6b-7: "Behold, I am making all things new"

A new heaven and a new earth, and the holy city "prepared like a bride adorned for her husband." The bride in the passage is the holy city, the people of God, and not one woman. Still, many husbands hear their wedding day in it, and that is fine. Then the promise: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more." Clear and visual, and easy for a grandchild in the pews to follow.

1 John 3:14-16: "we have passed out of death into life"

Three verses. "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers." It ends with Christ laying down his life for us, and with "we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers." For a wife whose life was spent looking after other people. It can also be true of the husband who cared for her at the end, though you do not need to say so.

Philippians 3:20-21: "our citizenship is in heaven"

Two verses. Christ "will change the body of our humiliation to be conformed to the body of his glory." If cancer, a stroke, or dementia changed her in ways that were hard to watch, this reading speaks to it directly, and it is short enough for a nervous reader.

Gospel

The priest or deacon proclaims the Gospel, so you only need to choose it.

• Matthew 5:1-12a: The Beatitudes. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Families often hear her in one of the others: the gentle, the merciful, the peacemakers. It is on both the wedding and the funeral lists, so if it was read at your wedding, it can be read again now.
• John 17:24-26: Jesus prays, "Father, I desire that they also whom you have given me be with me where I am." He is praying for his friends, the ones the Father gave him. Many husbands talk about their wife the same way, as someone they were given. It is short and rarely chosen.
• John 14:1-6: "Don't let your heart be troubled." Jesus goes "to prepare a place for you." The most common funeral Gospel, and a good one if she was the person who made your house a home.
• John 19:17-18, 25-39: The crucifixion, with Mary standing at the cross. Jesus says to her, "Woman, behold, your son!" and to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" It is long and heavy. Some families choose it because they kept watch at her bedside the way Mary kept watch at the cross.

How to actually choose

Read each one aloud before you decide. A passage that looks fine on paper can be very hard to say at the ambo, and the person reading it is grieving too.

Ask your children, if you have them. They may remember a reading she loved, or one from a family baptism or wedding, and they will be glad to be asked. Give the longer readings to steady readers and the short ones (Philippians 3, 1 John 3) to whoever is most nervous. You do not have to read yourself.

The readings are not meant to describe her. The homily and the words of remembrance are where her life is spoken about. The readings say what the Church believes about death, and they are offered on her behalf.

Finally, check with your parish before the programs are printed. Practice varies on small things, such as whether the psalm is sung, and a short phone call is easier than a reprint.

Putting it in the program

The full text of all 56 funeral readings is here, and you can browse readings on the hope of the resurrection and other themes. When you have chosen, you can build a printable funeral program with the readings already in place. Your children may also want to look at the guide to readings for a mother, and prayer cards are an easy thing to hand out at the end.