Will the "wives be subordinate" line offend our guests?

It can, without context. The passage opens with "Be subordinate to one another," and Paul's charge to husbands is far more demanding than his charge to wives. A good homilist makes that clear from the start. Ask your celebrant to address it head-on rather than skirting it.

Can we use the shorter version of this reading?

Yes. The lectionary offers a shorter form (Eph 5:2a, 25-32) that omits the "wives" verses entirely while keeping Paul's teaching that husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Many couples choose this version.

Does choosing this reading commit us to a particular view of gender roles?

Not in any way the Church doesn't already teach. The Catholic vision is mutual self-gift between spouses, with husbands called to a costly, Christ-like love. The passage describes that vision; it does not impose anything beyond what the sacrament already involves.

Second Reading (New Testament)

Ephesians 5:2a, 21-33

"This is a great mystery - Christ and the Church"

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Scripture text (World English Bible)

Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling fragrance. subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without defect. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly; because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Themes

Christ and the Church
sacrificial love
the great mystery
mutual subordination
sacramental marriage

Reflection

Ephesians 5 is the New Testament passage most foundational to the Catholic theology of sacramental marriage. It is also the passage that requires the most homiletic care, because the language of "wives, be subordinate to your husbands" can sound, to modern ears, as the opposite of what Paul actually intended. Properly read, the passage is one of the most beautiful descriptions of married love ever written.

Paul opens with a line that frames everything that follows: "Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ." Mutual subordination, each spouse putting the other first, is the template. He then applies this template to wives in one direction and to husbands in another. To husbands he says: "Love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her." That is the standard. A Catholic husband is being asked to love his wife the way Christ loved the Church, to the point of laying down his life. Compared to that demand, the language addressed to wives is gentle.

Paul then quotes Genesis: "the two shall become one flesh," and adds the line that grounds the entire Catholic sacramental theology of marriage: "This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church." Marriage is a mysterion, a sacrament, because in the love of husband and wife, the love between Christ and the Church becomes visible. Your marriage is meant to be an icon of that love.

This is the reading for couples who want a richly sacramental theology of marriage proclaimed at their wedding. With a good homilist, it can be the most powerful reading in the entire Mass. Without context, the opening lines can land badly. Talk to your celebrant in advance about how he plans to handle it.

Best for

·Couples drawn to the deepest sacramental theology of marriage
·Weddings with a strong, theologically-engaged homilist who can frame the passage well
·Couples for whom marriage as an icon of Christ-Church is central to their understanding
·Marriages where both spouses have explicitly embraced this vision in marriage prep

In the liturgy

Powerful when preached well, hazardous when the homilist is unprepared. A shorter version (Eph 5:2a, 25-32) omits the "wives, be subordinate" verses; ask your celebrant which version he recommends. Discuss in advance how he will handle the homily.

Pairs well with

Frequently asked questions

Will the "wives be subordinate" line offend our guests?: It can, without context. The passage opens with "Be subordinate to one another," and Paul's charge to husbands is far more demanding than his charge to wives. A good homilist makes that clear from the start. Ask your celebrant to address it head-on rather than skirting it.
Can we use the shorter version of this reading?: Yes. The lectionary offers a shorter form (Eph 5:2a, 25-32) that omits the "wives" verses entirely while keeping Paul's teaching that husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Many couples choose this version.
Does choosing this reading commit us to a particular view of gender roles?: Not in any way the Church doesn't already teach. The Catholic vision is mutual self-gift between spouses, with husbands called to a costly, Christ-like love. The passage describes that vision; it does not impose anything beyond what the sacrament already involves.

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